You Can't Say "Vaginal" in a Prayer

Okay, it's possible that the title of this post will attract all kinds of weirdies to my blog. If you're a weirdie and you're reading this, just keep on moving.

Anyways, today we (Josh, Porthos and I) had our 32 week pregnancy checkup. My time flies. Eight short weeks until showtime. We were scheduled with a new doc in the practice whom I'll call Dr. X. I had met her once before but this was Josh's first encounter.

Dr. X is sweet and kind and seems perfectly skilled...but she does have her quirks. She's known for saying things that sort of make you furrow your brow and think "should my doctor be saying that?" For example, she told a friend of mine that she couldn't describe a contraction because she'd never had a baby herself. To which my friend mentally replied -- "then how is it that the male doctors in the practice have no problem with this?"

Today, one of the topics on the agenda was the staffing shortage the practice is facing. They lost a doc and haven't replaced him and the upshot of it all is that I've been informed that they cannot guarantee that one of "my" doctors will deliver the baby. As it turns out, depending on what day he decides to arrive, I could be at the mercy of a resident at the hospital.

Upon hearing this, I bravely said -- "yes, well, but residents are real doctors, right? They're good, right?"

And she said - "yeah, they're okay. As long as you don't get one in July on, like, their first day, they should be fine."

Um, thanks. Let me state for the record that this was NOT a comforting response. The correct answer, Madame Doctor, is "yes, of course. Residents are fully trained and totally competent. You'll be in excellent hands."

Then there was the end-of-appointment prayer (have I mentioned how cool it is that my practice is faith-based?). Dr. X tenderly joined hands with Josh and me and prayed for a "healthy, happy, vaginal birth."

Oh my. Did she just say that? I mean, I appreciate the idea of specificity. It's good for God to know exactly what we're praying for. But as my husband said in the parking lot afterwards -- I'm just not sure you can say "vaginal" in a prayer...